Phabian & Miranda, Never Date an Ostin, Never Trust a Summer: : A High School Survivor's Tale

 Ask a college student what the worst time of the year is, and the answer will likely be :                 November-December

October is already a gut-wrenching twist for 90% of people in their 20s. Then come November and December, which feel like humanity's personal villains.

Graduating high school is where the chaos starts. You live in the fantasy that adulting will be awesome until, boom, you hit 18, and every step forward feels like three steps back. Years pass, and life goes from depressing to unbearable to somewhat manageable.

Fast forward to adulthood, and you realize you've seen nothing yet. Adulting is basically learning to navigate how shitty life can get—and still living through it.

That might sound depressing, but here’s my point.

Earlier this afternoon, I was folding clothes, putting away stuff to donate, when I stumbled across two things:

1. An ugly yellow XXL shirt.
2. A little black dress I don’t even remember wearing.

These two items are more than just clothes—they’re the remnants of a story.

Flashback to High School

Nearly seven years ago, I made a friend—let’s call her Miranda. She taught me everything about boys and the lore behind every guy at our high school since I wasn’t there from the beginning. One of these guys was Phabian (not his real name). Phabian had a friend, Ostin—my ex-“situationship.”

Miranda thought Phabian and Ostin were lame, gross teenage boys, but our other friend Daisy once confessed her biggest secret to me: she was in love with Phabian. At the time, I was falling for Ostin.

Long story short: Ostin messed me up, and Phabian played Daisy like a fool. Predictably, our high school friendship group fell apart.

The group split: it was me and Miranda on one side, Daisy and our other friend Summer on the other-Drama.

Before Miranda and Daisy drifted apart, she told me Daisy had told her about her feelings for Phabian. What nobody knew was that Miranda had feelings for him too. 

Meanwhile, I—being the social butterfly I am—befriended Phabian we had mutual friends and we vibed. We became inseparable. He started giving me signals: hanging out constantly, ditching Ostin to be with me, studying together, and even being physically affectionate.  

On December 3rd, Phabian gave me his beanie because I said it was really cold. Another day, my jeans ripped at the metro station, so I called him. He brought me a yellow shirt to cover up and a hoodie to wear. When I tried to give them back later, he told me to keep them.

But instead of leaning into it, I pushed back. and one day i decided it was over i was falling too much and i felt like i was betraying everyone including myself 'cause there was no way he likes ME. 

I joked about how ridiculous it would be for us to date, and I’ll never forget the look on his face—gut-wrenching. Ultimately, I played matchmaker. I made sure Phabian and Miranda got together. I third-wheeled hard, and they claimed to love it.

Until one time, I had a night out, and Miranda lent me a dress to wear. It was way too short, so I just hid it in my closet. That same night, something happened between her and Phabia, and they were both whining in my DMs about their fight. I felt like Miranda was in the wrong, and Phabia told me not to speak to her. Thinking I was being a 'girly girl,' I told Miranda anyway. I don’t know what exactly happened after that, but they ended up solving their issue and completely ruining my night out.

Years passed. Miranda and Phabian stayed together, but they stopped being my friends. Miranda didn't like how close Phabian and I had been, and honestly, I was tired of being their emotional dumping ground. They’d come to me with their fights, demand I pick sides, and leave me feeling drained.

Summer 2024: Ostin reappeared. He apologized for everything, and like the forgiving person I am, I gave him another chance. We started talking again, and my heart got involved—again. 

we bonded and those phone calls became longer each night, we scheduled them even, i told him about  hoes and he listened and shit, until suddenly he became salty and weird.

Tell me why, at a funeral of all places, I found out he was dating Summer. Yes, that Summer—the one he used to mock endlessly

It stung. Not because I wanted him back but because it felt like high school all over again.

Sitting here now, with a yellow shirt and a black dress, I’ve realized a lot:

1. Never recycle an ex. It’s a waste of energy.
2. Never ignore your own feelings to please a friend. If someone doesn’t respect your friendship, they’re not worth sacrificing for.

Looking back, I think Phabian did like me, but I built a wall of insecurity to block out what I didn’t want to deal with. And that’s okay.

I wish Miranda and Phabian the best. They make sense as a couple. i want to see them live the dreams they always told me they wanted.

i also wish Ostin & Summer a shitty life (i really do, i can't lie about that i want to see them suffer, Summer is the Hitler of my high school experience) 

That’s life. You get stabbed, you make mistakes, and you learn. Four years ago, all of this would’ve broken me. Today, it’s just a story—and I have finals to study for.